More Football 'Perspective'

[djkimmel]

(I wish I had thought of these myself - the first one is useful with blondes too!)

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a Buckeye joke?" The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I am an Ohio State graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he is an Ohio State graduate. The guy right next to him is 6'5", 250lbs. and he is also an Ohio State graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times"

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It was reported that the Ohio Football Coach Jim Tressel will only be dressing 20 players for the Michigan game ...the rest of the players will have to dress themselves

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Q: How do you get an Ohio State Graduate off your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

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Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: An OSU grad, a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal fan of their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way to the top when the Notre Dame grad hurled him self off the mountainside shouting "This is for the fighting Irish!" Not wanting to be outdone, the Penn State grad threw him self off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Nittany Lions!" Seeing this, the Michigan grad walked over and shouted, "This is for the Wolverines!" and pushed the Ohio State grad off the mountain!

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Q: What did the OSU grad say to the Michigan grad?

A: "Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order please?"

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A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will b e to sweep the store." But, I'm a OSU graduate," the young man replied indignantly, "I even played football there!" "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I better show you how."

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Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talking about the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie's lamp. "Who disturbs me?" asked the genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did. "You will each get one wish," said the genie. Jim offers to go first. "I want an impenetrable wall built around the entire state of Ohio so that none of those stupid Michiganians can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!" The genie grants the wish to Jim and his is instantly whisked away to his new paradise. The genie now tells Lloyd he'll grant him one wish. Lloyd says, "Fill it up with water."-

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Q: What are the three longest years of a Ohio State football player's life?

A: His freshman year

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M GO BLUE

[Dan]

Three grads, one from USC, one from Michigan, and one from Ohio State end up in jail for too much partying. At one point, during the night,  they find an open door that leads to their freedom so they decide to run for it. There is a fence that they must get over and near the fence is a tree, but it's near a guard tower. The guy from Michigan climbs the tree and just as he's to jump the guard hollers hey who's in the tree. Thinking fast the Michigan grad goes "Caw, caw." "Aah just a crow," the guard says, so the Michigan alum drops down and runs to safety. Next the USC guys sees what happens and again the guard hears something and makes the same inquiry. The USC guy goes, "Coo, Coo, and the guard figures it's just a pigeon and the USC guy makes his escape. Next the Ohio State grad figures it's his turn. Same thing happens and when the guard says who's there the Ohio grad is prepared and says Mooo.